What is Change?

Change is exactly what the word means. Change is when you leave behind anything that is a regular part of your life. That last moment, that last time of normalcy that gave you comfort. Leaving Houston was like that for me. The next time I head to HOU, I will feel like a guest because the city in reality is no longer my home… but in my heart, it will always be a part of who I am.

Leaving behind a part of you, while taking a piece of everyone with you. Exciting and painful.

This is my third move in almost 14 years. Each time it’s been emotional for me. Some guys may not feel at as much as moms or women do. They may be more attached to their work or looking ahead to the next thing. I don’t fault them. It’s just different with women. We form friendships and lifetime bonds. Or at least we hope they last a lifetime. We find people who are like minded and have kids the same age as ours. We immerse ourselves in the city in such a way where our emotions are tied to things, people, and moments.

Change, to me, is the single most difficult challenge in life. Don’t get me wrong here. For those who say they are excited for me, believe me, I’m excited as well. But pressing the reset button and starting from scratch is tough. Who do you trust, where should you go, do you belong? We have to cultivate all those things again.

I accepted that I would be moving a lot when I married my husband, never did I think I would become attached to the places where we lived.

I am grateful for the opportunities God has graced us. Sometimes, it’s difficult to have this conversation with your spouse because they feel guilty or automatically responsible for your feelings.

I have always put my self second to my husband’s career. He is self-made, driven and we are always a team. I see his accomplishments as my own. But I also have emotions. That’s a natural thing.

Women are nurturers by nature and therefore, in my opinion, it’s the toughest on us. The one thing that has helped me during this move are my friends. Making me feel I have some semblance of normalcy left in my life.

I have learned to accept we are all travelers in this life. I’m embracing change in a positive way. Change is good. It makes us more confident, independent, and is quite humbling.

I will always be grateful. I live the life of an adventurer, but even the strongest of adventurers feel for what they miss. But we all press on.

Sadaf-NewYork
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