Who knew?
People have said things about us, but the truth is they never needed to understand the relationship we had. There have been hurtful comments about the kind of wife I must have been to Rehan. The reality is, I wore being his wife like a badge of honor.
Our life together was funny, adventurous, sometimes chaotic, and deeply rooted in love. The outside world brought its challenges, but when it was just us, we were home.
It was an honor to take him to every doctor’s appointment, every radiation treatment, to make sure he took his chemotherapy, and to set alarms for his steroids. If you weren’t there, you could never understand the depth of the love we shared.
As I reflect on our 15-plus years together, I can honestly say they were the best years of my life.
Together we built a beautiful life and were blessed with our little boy—who isn’t so little anymore.
Every week I made his favorite meals: beef and potatoes, chicken curry, and I even learned how to make parathas because he loved them. On the nights I made beef stroganoff, he wouldn’t leave the table until every last bite was gone.
I miss the way he adored Rafae. He never came home empty-handed. There was always a new toy waiting for our son. For me, it might be an ABC hat, a poster from one of my favorite shows, or something he thought would make me smile.
He was a giver.
I used to joke that I hated going to Neiman Marcus with him because he would insist I leave with something, even when I didn’t need a thing. Looking back, I realize that was one of the ways he expressed his love. I gave him everything I had, and he spent every day showing me how much he appreciated it.
One phrase he repeated often has stayed with me:
“Be patient. There is no race to the finish line.”
Today, those are the words I repeat to myself and to Rafae whenever life feels overwhelming.
Rehan, I love you and miss you every single day. You were my person.
Life never teaches you how to survive losing the person you thought you would grow old with. It simply expects you to keep going.
I pray that Allah has granted you the highest gardens of Jannah, and I pray that one day, by His mercy, Rafae and I will be reunited with you.
Until then, we will continue to live in a way that makes you proud.